Wednesday, 5 August 2009

Feeling very disappointed with myself

Despite the fact that I can set up a 1m course and jump round no problems at home, jump 1.15m courses in lessons and be calm as a cucumber...even if the idea of a 2.6ft at a show makes me want to cry :( Its not the height, Im just convinced it's all a waste of time as we keep getting eliminated. 

Was meant to go SJ today, was planning on the 2.6ft and 2.9ft - so well below anything we're jumping at home/in training/last weeks course hire - but told Mum this morning I didnt want to go :( Was already thinking about Deanna stopping/getting eliminated and if you ride D negatively she will just stop.

Im going on holiday on friday as I was worried about going to a show and getting elim and then not having time to correct it before we both had breaks. But at the same time Im now wound up that Im about to go away and still haven't sorted the jumping since the last time we were elim plus thinking the longer I leave going to a show the more nervous Im going to be.

Sorry, long rambling post here. Not even sure anyones reading it. Just so cant believe back in April we were flying round 1m courses BSJA and winning....and now I dont even have the confidence to compete her round 2 foot fecking 6 :'(

1 comment:

Annabel said...

don't give up :)
just get yourself and D going out to lots and lots, and keep going until you're both going round the courses relaxed and enjoying yourselves.
Mares can be really tempremental and the slightest thing that may have happened out one time could have slipped her confidence. The only way to crack it is going to probably be by going to lots of showjumpng and, as hard as it may be after the problems you have been, riding her around cofidently.
Try find a venue that has enviting jumps and not too scary fillers, a relaxed attitude, and small height is fine as then you can get her over then from trot if needs be.
goodluck and I hope things sort themsleves out because you deserve it after all you hard work! :)

sorry for an essay ahaa x